ME! I like short shorts!
Over the last six weeks I have experienced two traumatic events, the first was that the first pair of proper running shorts I ever bought bit the dust. They were a lovely black number with as slit up the side so big they left nothing to the imagination when I was in full flow. Unfortunately, after nearly three years the lining gave up the ghost and they had to be retired. Since then I have got by on two pairs of running shorts as the training has been light and, having no job until three weeks ago, washing them was not a problem. Recently, a second, a perhaps even more earth-shattering event rocked me into action and kick started a quest for new shorts; whilst out running with a friend, we spotted a fellow runner with shorter shorts than me... the bar had been raised!
With the help of Chris "The Munchkin" McCarthy (his words, not mine) and his superior knowledge of short shorts retailers in London I set out with a mission, to buy the shortest shorts I could find. Our first port of call was a fail, when I asked the staff if they sold "really short shorts" they laughed and said they didn't. Clearly the recreational runner prefers a short that leaves the dignity intact, thankful my complete lack of shame meant I have no dignity to protect. The assistant's comment of "you could always cut some off" suggested she thought this was some kind of joke! Her levity was not appreciated and I left quickly.
The second shop was much better and I was able to find a number of shorts to hold next to each other to see which was shortest. At this point Macca (as he prefers to be know) decided to pretend he didn't know me, can't think why, and didn't seem to be on board with my watertight logic that "the shorter the shorts the faster the runner". Strange. I eventually settled on a pair of Gore shorts which are, quite frankly, bordering in indecent, and had the pleasure of running in them this morning, running on cloud 9 the whole 21k.
A quick bit of maths suggested that the 8 inch shorts cover approximately 1/6th of my 46 inch outside leg leaving leaving a staggering 83.3% on show for London, lucky, lucky London.
Can't wait until Summer 2011 when I'll see how London responds to me running along South Bank in Speedos!
1 comment:
Calculating what percentage of your leg is covered by your pornographic shorts: THAT'S one of the reasons I'm friends with you.
R
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