I am so hot right nowAs a pasty, pale skinned man from the North of the British Isles you would think I would have learned that it isn't safe for me to step outside of the shade when the mercury tops 17c, and if I do decide to risk it I ought to be sporting a visible layer of factor 50 or a HASMAT suit... or both. Yet somehow I still haven't learned, or, more accurately, there is one day every year where I dismiss the evidence, assume I've "acclimatised" (HA!) and decide to forgo sunscreen. In fact, over the last six years I can distinctly remember the time each summer where this has happened:
2004 - I shaved my head for a post exam trip to Gozo, within 12 hours of landing it looked like a traffic light on stop.
2005 - I decided that the sun in Whitby can't be THAT strong and managed to burn my entire right hand side in my own personal, and painful, homage to Dracula.
2006 - June, discover cycling and Oakleys.
July, discover panda eyes and classic farmer's tan line
2007 - I ride my first century ride. I was slow, it was hilly and by the time I finished my upper arm looked like a paint sample contrasting alabaster white and crimson red.
2008 - My first run in with triathlon tan lines. Possibly the only tan lines worse than cycling ones. The singed muffin top and crispy wings combo is a really good look.
2009 - It turns out even cloud cover doesn't stop me burning in Hawaii. Only crispy wings this time reducing the muppet factor by about 3.
I had a lot of time on my hands hence having to rest the camera on the stairs and get the timer correct, this was the best of about six attempts.2010 - I've been in France for four weeks and haven't burnt, so I must be OK, right? WRONG! As the top above adequately demonstrates.
Only this time round I have discovered (only took the better part of a decade) Aloe Vera fresh from the plant. Great for burns it meant I was actually able to sleep the night after cooking myself, a pleasant change to normal.
The inside of the plant is soothing, the pointy outside, is not.The only question that remains is where will I be burning in 2011? Stay tuned to find out.